Financial Jargon for Dummies

Financial Jargon & Terminologies For The Current Times

EBITDA - Earnings Before I Tricked the Dumb Auditor

EBIT - Earnings Before Irregularities and Tempering

Top-Down Investing - People with a bit of economics knowledge but scared shitless about accounting.

Bottom-Up Investing - People who knows a bit about accounting but hates fiction.

Unusual Market Activity - Something the management and directors know NOTHING about.

Averaging Down Investing - When you totally ignore the fact that you were wrong in the first instance.

Doubling Up Investing - Making doubly sure that you are more than fully-invested when the stock eventually tanks.

CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO - Chief Fraud Officer

Second Board - What Second Board???

Margin Account - Shorter rope, tighter noose.

Hedge Funds - Institutionalised margin accounts.

NAV - Normal Andersen Valuation

NPAT - Never Pay Any Tax

EPS - Eventual Prison Sentence

Federal Reserve Board - Bank of Japan on Prozac.

Equity Research - As useful as a used condom.

Bloomberg - Starbucks of financial information providers.

Reuters - Toy r'us of financial information providers.

Short Term Investor - Someone who is in-and-out within 3 days or less.

Long Term Investor - A short term investor who cannot get out profitably after 3 days.

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.

Technology Sector - Opportunity to throw money at things you don't understand.

Off Balance Sheet Items - More important than items in the balance sheet, and represent things that really should be in the balance sheet.

Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the Market keeps crashing.

Broker - Poorer than you were last year.

Remisier - Someone who should have kept their previous job.

Investor Protection - Padded walls in broking halls.

Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Difference Btw A Local & Foreign House Analyst - About RM10,000-RM20,000 a month.

Stock Split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Institutional Investor - Past year investor who is now locked up in a nuthouse.

Economist - Someone who tells you why their predictions went wrong.

World Cup Feva dan Demam AF

Dah 2 minggu tak update blog aku ni.... macam mana nak jadi blogger macam ni... actually the first week tu aku sibuk dengan final exam paper law aku.... then minggu lepas balik kampung.... cuti seminggu.... so, now, i'm back and also world cup is back....

Of course, macam world cup yang terdahulu, team yang disokong semestinya Argentina.... tak percaya, sila tengok gambar yang dilampirkan.... (diego maradona dengan batistuta, tak dapat pegi world cup, so melepak depan tv, tapi bukan tengok world cup... tapi tengah tengok AF.... hahahah)... Actually ada satu lagi team, Italy, yang aku sokong.... sentimental value sikit dengan italy ni.... punca dari kekalahan euro 2000 dulu.... tapi, teringin jugak nak tengok England menang tahun ni sebab ada Gerard and Crouch... hehehehe... tu la pasal...


Team yang disokong
1) Argentina (sebab sokong dari 1986 lagi)
2) Italy (sda)

Team yang tak disokong
1) Brazil (bosan, selalu sangat menang)
2) France (sebab ada henry)
3) Germany (berlagak)

Team yang gitu2 disokong
1) England (sda)
2) Spain (kesian, tak pernah menang)

So, permulaan yang baik buat Argentina... nasib baik menag 2-1.. padan muka Drogba...

Satu lagi demam AF... AF4.... waimah apa pun, AF4 kali ni tak macam last year.... macam hambar la sikit tahun ni... biasa jela... nasib baik ada lotter dengan farhan, kalau tak aku tak tengok dah... Konsert first biasa saja sebab semua lagu lama... the concept is good but the performance bohsan.... Second punya, tak dapat tengok sebab ada kelas tadi.... tension betul

Yang best this year
1) Lotter
2) Farhan

Yang ok lah
1) Faizal
2) Velvet

Yang tak best
1) the rest yang tak disebut.....

So selamat menonton apa yang nak ditonton....